You are so pissed you’re not sure whether to wake her now and let her know she is grounded from computer access for the rest of the year, or simply ship her off to her Dad.  Probably both, but how would you enforce the no computer at her Dad’s? This is why you can’t wake her now. Instead, take a minute and think about the teen you just saw on the social networking page. Now, think of who your teen is and you might start to wonder, which teen is really mine?

Consider what your teen is really asking for with the photo, the age, does she want to attract an older guy? Does it seem like she wants to be liked? Does it seem like she is lonely? Or maybe she just feels alone.

The first great romance of a girl’s life is her father. Although Moms can be so generous with their love, it is Dad that has the final say over how your girl teen will search for a male partner. She is supposed to be “Daddy’s Princess” without this type of doting there is an emptiness that your teen may try and fill through the negative attention on social networking sites and even at school.  You understand this because it is very flattering to get attention. Flattery does any ego good, but how much more a developing ego that is so caught up in themselves and their feelings, so hungry for attention that they will settle for any attention they can get.

You are understandably angry and tomorrow you can ask her to dismantle the site. However, equally important is that you take the moment to hear what she was trying to tell you. She needs something. She can either resolve it by getting it from you, a surrogate or her father, but she must get it. Without it she risks all the complications associated with poor self-worth and esteem, early pregnancy, being needy for attention from a future mate that exceeds what is normal, fear of abandonment and poor mate choices in a desperate drive to never be alone. This is not what anyone wants for their teen. This keeps your teen in a position to be taken advantage of.

Instead of projecting your anger, be grateful you have information because now you can do something about it. If you really want to change things, taking the time to think about what your teen might be going through will allow you to project your empathy not your anger.  It is your empathy that will help her understand how much you really care.

Related posts:

1. Gossip And Social Responsibility
2. Teens As Social Creatures
3. Why Dad’s are still Important to Teens