TheTeenDoc.com » teen depression

Your Teen May Consider Suicide (Eminem’s Going Through Changes)

teendoc — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 11:00:02 +0000

The changes involved with sadness then depression are overwhelming for anybody and that includes teens. The ability to gather the energy to execute an idea or plan seems almost impossible even the plan to kill themselves can seem so big until it is the sole thought that they invest all their energy in. They are too weak to ask for help. They are too weak to recognize there is hope. Your fearless approach to their depression can reassure your teen that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Eminem’s Going Through Changes
Why do I act like I’m all high and mighty,
When inside, I’m dying, I am finally realizing I need help.
I can’t do it by myself, too weak, 2 weeks I’ve been having ups and downs,
Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,
Around with the idea, of ending the s**t right here.

This pain can become so unbearable they think about hurting themselves, then want to seriously hurt themselves. Never confuse what this desperate act means. They want the pain to end. They almost never want their lives to end. They don’t understand they can end the pain without ending their lives. They may not realize this until they have started the attempt. There is a lot to suggest that soon after jumping, taking the medication, hearing the train coming people regret their decision, “What did I just do?” It’s the pain. If the pain could stop and there could just be some joy. They would want to stay.

I think I should state a few facts, Cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth.
S**t it just hit me that what if I would notta made it through?
I think about the things I would never got to say to you,
I’d never get to make it right, so here’s what I came to do.

Your teen needs your hope and your maturity. They need to understand that there is a better way. Not in a pollyana way by the way, as Eminem says, When it rains/yes it pours/yes it does. It can seem like that. You just keep getting hit until you can’t get up, but that is your teen’s job…to figure out with your support how to get up. Imagine who they will be when they get through this major valley.

Your teen is going to go through changes and if calculations are right it may first occur in middle school. Watch them like a hawk at this time, like a hawk! If either parent suffered from depression then there should absolutely be a keen sensitivity to this change in mood. It is so consistent their first battle with depression it knocks them on their butt. They don’t know what it is. Their friends will not understand it, they are too young, but watch them and get help. They will make it through. Please give them the light at the end of the tunnel.

Resources:

Hotlines:

1.800.SUICIDE

1.800.273.TALK

Your Teen Feels Alone (Eminem’s Talkin’ 2 Myself)

teendoc — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:00:17 +0000

Your teen wants to know they’re not alone. They need to know this. They think they are, but they aren’t. If you take a moment to think about and understand what your teen is going through when they feel this way, you might realize that maybe you’d feel the same way. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t parent your teen with guidelines and high expectations, but it does mean that you should respect that they feel alone against the challenges they are facing.

Eminem’s Talkin’ 2 Myself
Is anybody out there?
It feels like I’m talkin to myself
No one seems to know my struggle
And everything I come from
Can anybody hear me?
I guess I keep talkin to myself
It feels like I’m going insane
Am I the one whose crazy?

To be an adult as Eminem clearly is and feel so lost in what he is going through that he can have someone sing this refrain in one of the most honest songs on the CD is profound for a teen who is listening actually, anyone who is listening. Your teen acts stronger than they are because no one wants to be seen as a wimp, but what this does is encourages your teen to lie about the way they feel and then forget that you do want to know what they’re feeling. There are others who have and are feeling the same way. They need to know that they are not alone.
You’re lying to yourself, you’re slowly dying, you’re denying
Your health is declining with your self esteem, you’re crying out for help
Instead they fake it. They see you fake it. They see others at school fake it. You know we didn’t have sex. Why are you lying to all your friends? They can’t put these things together. It makes them irritable and moody and they act out because their world is unsettled. I want to tell you how I feel, but you aren’t honest about what you are going through and you are my role model. I will not burden you with my worries and I will figure them out alone. Be there so they tell you. Listen so they keep telling you. Do something so they know you heard them don’t become paralyzed in your helplessness, let them see you ask others for help.

So why in the world do I feel so alone
Nobody but me, I’m on my own
Is there anyone out there
Who feels the way I feel
If there is then let me in and let me know I’m not the only one

Let them know they’re not the only one. Find a support group, tell them your story, get them in therapy, find a group of peers who share the same experience, buy a book, go to a movie…There is absolutely someone out there who knows their struggle. They should know they aren’t the first and will not be the last to go through such an experience. This is how you teach them that it is okay to be vulnerable with someone so they open up about the way they feel and connect not disconnect with those around them.

Resources:

Suicide Hotline Numbers
1.800.SUICIDE
1.800.273.TALK

Teen Depression Isn’t Always Sad

teendoc — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 12:00:11 +0000

Depression is typically someone who is sad, keeps to themselves, doesn’t eat, or loses interest in things they once cared about. But what about anger, fighting, other aggressive behavior and initiating violence at school or on the street, is that depression too?

Depression can also be angry. After all, depression is anger turned inward. If you don’t know that deperssion can be anger towards others, you might misinterpret your teen’s outbursts, desire to punch the wall or seemingly punch you. It can look like they are well, angry and anger doesn’t pull sympathy like the depressed teen girl who can’t get out of bed.

Teens who don’t want to seem weak, may choose to hide their depression behind rage. They have outbursts, seem to hate everyone and have no problem starting a fight with anyone who does the slightest misstep towards them. They want someone to do something so they have a reason to be provoked. This doesn’t garner sympathy from teachers, the community or parents. This can make your teen even angrier.

Angry depression can also be seen with substance use, eating disorders, cutting and other self-injurious behavior. These poor coping skills are so emotionally intense they simply obscure the underlying issue of depression associated with a quieter or calm behavior.

Ways you can help:

1. Recognize the anger

If the anger seems out of proportion to the event, then it might be. This can be hard because in general teens manage their emotions poorly. They are highly sensitive at baseline and easily misinterpret things said by those around them, but consistent anger may give you a clue there is something going on.

2. Ask

Never underestimate your ability to get your teen talking. An act of kindness and willingness to listen may make your teen feel safe talking to you about what is wrong. You can gain insight into your teen’s actions so you can help.

3. Counseling

Sometimes you need a reality check and other times you simply need help. Arranging an appointment with a therapist can give you and your teen an objective perspective on their anger and what it may mean.

Whether depression is soft-spoken or angry, it is important to remember that depression is the leading cause of suicide and suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among teens. Neither presentation should be permitted to exist because you are afraid of one more than the other. Both teens need your help.

Resources:

Hotlines:

1.800.SUICIDE

1.800.273.TALK

Websites:

SuicideHotlines.com - helps you find a suicide hotline in your state.

Suicidepreventionlifeline.org - A comprehensive resource on information for prevention as well as survivors.