Here, “I told you so” sets up an expectation for both you and your teen. You feel as though they never listen to you or heed the wise and all important advice that you have dispensed and they feel as though, “What else is new? It’s not like you think I can do anything right. This is simply one more thing that I haven’t done correctly.” The end result is that both parties are frustrated and neither feels understood or heard.

Not a lot of hope to make a change for the better here.

No, to actually move past the mistakes and the “whatever’s, you have to have faith that one of you actually can do something right, and one of you actually knows a little something about which they speak. Parents, call someone to back you up, you can use your doctor to check your facts and reinforce your words if they are correct. You can have your teen hear it from a “credible source.” This is a great way to get validation. Also, trust that your teen has heard you and realizes you do know a thing or two, but that their brains simply do not multitask the way yours does. They hear you and then something happens, and something else happens and this assignment is due and then oops! They forgot. Not intentionally, not to get your goat, but because they are teens.

Patience and not “I told you so’s” is going to get you somewhere. Patience and a creative way to get them to remember or to complete a task will get you even more. You too have been in a position of learning from your mistakes; you can’t forget that because you are now in a position to want the job done.

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