The Teen Break-up
“How on earth can you say you’re in love? You don’t know what love is…this is a high school crush for goodness sake.” One question, why is your teen lying around the house like Hamlet?
If you can think back to high school you might remember a crush on a teacher, rock star or the sophomore in 5th period. The early stages of romance are the most seductive and intoxicating. And, this is about the length of the average teen relationship 3-6 months. Is it any wonder the break-up is so painful? There is hardly any time to get to the mutual ratcheting down to an everyday relationship. 
The result is that when your teen has a break-up it can be absolutely devastating. The emotional development of your teen that can exaggerate, or misinterpret the actions of others can become so overwhelmed by feelings of sadness that your teen can be depressed and even suicidal. Their grades may drop, they may withdraw, or develop worse coping mechanisms like eating disorders, or substance use especially if there was something the partner said that alluded to some imperfection about your teen. Your teen will take this very personally instead of as the rantings of a person looking for an excuse to do something difficult like break-up with them.
The biggest worry is for those teens who cannot discuss their break-up with their parents or another adult. This can be due to their parents disapproving their dating in the first place, or their parent’s dislike of whom they were dating because of race, gender, or religious beliefs. These teens are in the difficult position of managing these emotions with friends at best, or on their own in the worst case scenario. If your teen is resilient they will get through with minimal damage, but if not -the risk for depression and suicide attempts or completion is huge.
Teen heartbreak is no small event in your teen’s life. If it is the first real relationship, it may serve as the standard that your teen compares all other prospects. Whether you think your teen should be dating or not, if you think your teen seems sad or different you might want to mention a break-up as one of the possible causes and hold your disappointment about it in an effort to get your teen to talk. You may think it’s difficult to control your teen’s behavior, but this is nothing compared to the delicate imprecision of why someone falls in, then out of love with someone. Try managing that. You have it easy with the teen, trust me.
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