When is a Favor not Really a Favor?
Your teen fails to complete an assignment on time, they are captain of the football team and they’re fairly sure the teacher will give them an extension. Not only do they get that extension, but the coach and teacher negotiate a pass for just handing in a bibliography. Cool Favor?
Well, it turns out that this is the kind of thing teachers, parents and the community to a certain degree do with their prized students. They let them off and in so doing the let them off learning the lesson of being held accountable. Being held accountable is what will develop your teen’s sense of integrity. That thing they do even when no one is looking. In an interview with Good Morning America’s Diane Sawyer, Rihanna said about Chris Brown, “He hit me like he knew he could get away with it, like he was an exception to the law. He was bigger than the law.” Do you really want to be responsible for creating that type of ego?
No one is saying that falsely passing a teen that is star of the football team leads to them raping a cheerleader, but as adults in a position of authority we certainly teach our teens that there is a slippery slope if you find the right dots to connect. If we as parents, teachers and the community do not hold our teens accountable for the minor infractions, how do we expect them to understand the big ones when they have not been raised to believe there is any accountability? Your teen learns they can possibly get away with anything because I’m so and so and I’m important.
A healthy sense of self-esteem and confidence in your teen is great, but they aren’t any more or less deserving that anyone around them. To make them believe that they deserve to be special in a way that lets them off the hook, is no favor really. You are doing this teen a disservice rather than a favor.
No related posts.
