Intention is a great place to start with anything and this includes parenting your teen. When you get that call that your teen was caught misbehaving or didn’t do what you asked them to do and you asked TEN times, before anything comes out of your mouth you have to ask yourself, what is my intention?
Intention is about getting in touch with the message you hope to convey. for example, you can yell and convey frustration or anger. You can be sarcastic and convey animosity or even hatred. Finally, you can take a breath even while frustrated and convey love and understanding by simply asking about the circumstances that compliacated their desire (and yours) for them to be their best selves.
Sometimes when you consider your intentions, your teen has an opportuninty to hear, not your judgement or criticism of their behavior, but your real intention which is to connect, understand and love your teen.
Being perfect and the intention of of doing your best are not the same. When your intention shines through even if you don’t hit the mark your teen can feel that you expect more not because they are a failure, but because they’re intentions are generally good.